I am unlucky in the dating game.
I’m not ashamed to admit this and I don’t care who knows. I am shockingly, atrociously bad at relationships/love/dating. I have never had a drink bought for me, unless I was purposely blocking a guy for a friend and he was trying to sweeten the deal. The only dates I’ve been on have been initiated through tinder and most of those end with food down my bra and a hasty delete. I give my number to guys and never get called back. I once managed to accidentally break up a polyamorous couple because I really liked him, wasn’t aware that he was in a relationship and texted too much, leading to him getting kicked out of the house and sleeping in the car for a few nights. That’s the sort of experience I have with love. True, I have also been in some long term relationships but even those have been very cut and dry; no wining and dining, no courting. Love was there but the fact that I’m single now and have been for over two years is enough comment on those years of my life.
Valentines, for me, has always been a bit of an odd day. I rally against the commercialism of the day but I can’t deny that the idea of getting a surprise card has always been a real thrill (not that I have ever had a surprise card, unless it’s from my parents or boyfriends who are contractually obligated to get me one).
On the run up to Valentine’s Day I had gotten to thinking about my luck on Tinder and some of the interesting conversations I’ve had on the app. The joy (and downfall) with Tinder is that you can be as blunt or overt as you wish because you can always ‘unmatch’ and never speak to the person again. This has led to both some awful and entertaining tinder messages. I have a habit of trying to be funny when flirting but I’ve been told by all my friends that I’m not funny. Maybe that’s where my flirtation technique fails so spectacularly?
So to all the loved up couples/threesomes/’we’re not putting a name on it’s, have a wonderful night. To all the singletons out there, remember you don’t need a partner to be complete but I wish you all the luck in finding out if you fancy it. Oh, and may all your sex lives be fucking stellar.